ADHD Internalized Ableism: 10 Signs You’re Being Too Hard on Yourself

clytenjeri
3 days ago
2 min read

What is ADHD Internalized Ableism?

Internalized ableism is the process of taking society's prejudices against neurodivergence and turning them inward. In a world that prizes linear thinking, consistent productivity, and "normative" behavior, people with ADHD often absorb the message that their struggles are personal flaws rather than neurological differences.

It is the shame-filled voice in your head that insists you should be able to do things just like everyone else. Instead of seeing ADHD as a brain-based disability or a different way of functioning, you view your challenges as moral failings, like laziness, a lack of willpower, or a character defect.

10 Signs of Internalized Ableism in ADHD

Based on insights from Neuron & Rose Psychology and LA Concierge Psychologist, here are the most common ways internalized ableism manifests for ADHDers:

Labeling yourself as "Lazy": You assume you are lazy because you struggle with daily tasks like cleaning, paying bills, or cooking, rather than recognizing these as symptoms of executive dysfunction.
Believing you are "Too Much": You constantly criticize yourself for talking too much, being too emotional, or being outside the norm, leading you to hide your personality to fit in.
Refusing to Ask for Accommodations: You believe you should be able to work without help. You might view extra time on tests or a quiet office as unfair advantages, rather than necessary tools for accessibility.
Taking on the Full Burden of Adapting: You feel it is 100% your responsibility to "fix" your environment, rather than expecting schools, workplaces, or partners to collaborate on making spaces accessible for you.
Struggling to Accept the Diagnosis: Even with a professional diagnosis, you might feel like you’re dodging responsibility, or using it as an excuse for what you still believe are your own faults.
Viewing ADHD as Something to "Cure": You see your brain as "broken" and spend your energy trying to erase your ADHD traits rather than learning how to work with your unique neurotype.
The "Medication Shame" Cycle: You feel like using medication is "cheating" or a sign of weakness, believing you should be able to function at a neurotypical level through sheer willpower.
Toxic Perfectionism: You drive yourself to total exhaustion trying to meet unrealistic societal expectations. You sacrifice your mental health just to "keep up" and avoid being seen as different.
Feeling You Don't Deserve Compassion: While you might be kind to others, you believe you are the "exception to the rule" and deserve to struggle or be punished for your mistakes.
Ignoring the Strengths of Your ADHD: You focus so heavily on your "flaws" that you cannot see the creativity, curiosity, or hyperfocus that often come with the ADHD brain.

Conclusion

Unlearning internalized ableism is a journey of shifting from shame to self-acceptance. It begins by recognizing that your brain isn't "broken", it simply functions differently in a world that wasn't designed for it. When you stop measuring your worth by neurotypical standards, you can finally begin to ask for the support you deserve and celebrate the unique ways your mind works.

If you think you recognise these signs, we would love to speak to you about ADHD Evaluations. Contact us today.