Suicidal Thoughts: Understanding the Causes, Feelings, and When to Tell Someone

Learn what causes suicidal ideation, what it feels like, how long it lasts, and the vital steps to take when you decide to tell someone and get professional help.

Suicide

What Are Suicidal Thoughts?

Suicidal thoughts or suicidal ideations are marked by thoughts of self-harm or ending one's life. They are not a moral failing or a personality flaw; they are a serious symptom of underlying mental pain.

Suicidal thoughts can range in severity, from passive thoughts of "I wish I wasn't here" to detailed plans on how to end one's life. (Active thoughts). These thoughts are almost always rooted in a profound sense of hopelessness and helplessness, where the person believes suicide is the only way to escape overwhelming pain or solve a problem.

For most suicide victims, the goal is not actually to die, but to stop the pain.

What Does it Feel Like to Be Suicidal?

The experience of suicidal thoughts is intensely personal, but several common emotional states and sensations are frequently reported:

Feeling	Description
Intense Emotional Pain	An overwhelming, chronic pain that feels unbearable and inescapable. It can feel like a physical ache in the soul.
Numbness	A feeling of disconnection, emptiness, or detachment from life and loved ones. A sense of being "checked out."
Burden	The belief that one is a terrible burden to family, friends, or the world, and that others would be better off without them.
Tunnel Vision	The inability to see any future solutions, options, or positive outcomes. The suicidal act seems like the only logical choice left.
Isolation	Despite being surrounded by people, there is a profound sense that no one understands the depth of their pain.
Agitation/Restlessness	Sometimes the despair manifests as anxiety, insomnia, and an inability to sit still.

What Causes Suicidal Thoughts?

Suicidal thoughts are almost never caused by a single event. They are typically the result of a complex interplay of psychological, biological, environmental, and social risk factors.

1. Mental Health Conditions

The vast majority of people who die by suicide have an underlying mental health condition.

• Major Depressive Disorder

• Bipolar Disorder

• Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

• Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

• Substance Use Disorders (which can also act as a trigger)

2. Environmental & Life Stressors

These are often the immediate catalysts that push a person into crisis:

• Recent or impending loss (job, relationship, home).

• Chronic financial or housing stress.

• Experiencing trauma, abuse, or neglect.

• Bullying, discrimination, or perceived humiliation.

• Legal or disciplinary problems.

3. Biological & Genetic Factors

While not a direct cause, certain biological factors can increase vulnerability:

• A family history of suicide.

• Chronic health conditions or debilitating pain.

• Changes in brain chemistry, particularly low levels of serotonin.

4. Hopelessness and Impulsivity

The key psychological factor is hopelessness, the feeling that nothing will ever get better. This, combined with increased impulsivity (often fueled by substance use or a personality disorder), creates a high-risk scenario.

How Long Will I Feel Suicidal?

One of the most terrifying aspects of suicidal ideation is the fear that the pain will last forever. It is essential to understand this truth: Suicidal crises are temporary.

The Crisis Point

The most intense, severe suicidal feelings are often episodic and relatively short-lived. They may last anywhere from minutes to hours or even days. If you can get through those intense, critical periods without acting on the thoughts, the intensity will lessen.

The Recovery Journey

The underlying conditions (like depression or anxiety) that cause the ideation may take longer to treat, but with effective therapy and support:

1. The intensity of the crisis fades.

2. The frequency of the thoughts decreases.

3. The ability to cope and see other options returns.

If you are feeling suicidal right now, please know that these feelings are not permanent, even if they feel that way. Help is available.

Telling Other People You Feel Suicidal (And Why It’s Vital)

Deciding to tell someone is the bravest step you can take toward improving your well-being. It is the moment you choose life and hope over pain and isolation.

Why You Should Tell Someone

• It Breaks the Secret: Suicide thrives in secrecy. Sharing your pain immediately reduces the intensity and burden you are carrying.

• It Activates Help: Telling someone—a friend, family member, therapist, or crisis line, connects you to the resources and support necessary to keep you safe and start treatment.

• It Provides Perspective: When you are suicidal, you have "tunnel vision." Others can see solutions and alternatives that you cannot.

Who Should You Tell?

Choose someone you trust who you believe will take you seriously and offer support, not judgment.

• A Licensed Professional: A therapist, psychiatrist, or school counselor. They are trained to handle this.

• A Crisis Line: The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (US) or your country’s equivalent. They are confidential, free, and available 24/7.

• A Trusted Loved One: A close family member or best friend who is known for being reliable and calm under pressure.

If you are worried about "burdening" them, remember this: Telling someone you are struggling is a moment of trust and strength, and it gives them the opportunity to help you survive. They would much rather hear about your pain now than face the unimaginable loss later.

🚨 IMMEDIATE ACTION: What to Do Right Now

If you are reading this and are in crisis, please take one of these steps immediately:

1. Call or Text 988 (US): This connects you to the National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

2. Text HOME to 741741: This connects you with the Crisis Text Line.

3. Go to the nearest Emergency Room: They can ensure your immediate safety and connect you with psychiatric care.

Your life matters. Reaching out is the first step in the healing process.