Support for Ongoing Suicidal Thoughts in Adults — San Diego, California

A paper written suicide

Support for Ongoing Suicidal Thoughts: Real Experiences, Understanding, and How Help Works

Suicidal thoughts are more common than many people realize, and far more complex than the myths surrounding them. For many adults, these thoughts don’t always look like a desire to die. Instead, they often manifest quietly, as exhaustion, numbness, or a desire to escape emotional pain.

This article shares real-life experiences, explains what suicidal thoughts actually are, outlines how to support someone at home, and describes how therapy can help people find relief and stability.

What Living With Suicidal Thoughts Can Feel Like

One person described the fear of speaking up this way:

“I’m afraid that if I talk about suicide to a friend, I’ll bring them down and they won’t want to associate with me anymore. I’m already lonely.”

Another shared a fear that keeps many people silent:

“I’m afraid that if I’m honest, I’ll be committed to a mental hospital, lose my ability to work, and end up homeless. I’m terrified of being forgotten like my life never mattered.”

For others, hopelessness feels permanent:

“I don’t think anyone can really help me. I feel like I was destined to be like this.”

And for some, the pain no longer feels only emotional:

“I’m lonely all the time, and the pain doesn’t stop, it leaches into physical pain.”

These experiences reflect a core reality: suicidal thoughts are often rooted in fear, exhaustion, isolation, and untreated emotional pain, not a true desire for death.

What Suicidal Thoughts Really Are (and What They Are Not)

Suicidal thoughts are commonly misunderstood. Many people believe they automatically mean someone wants to die or will act on them. In reality, they are often a signal that something inside is overwhelmed and needs care.

Suicidal thoughts are not:

• A character flaw or weakness

• Proof that someone wants to die

• A permanent state

They are:

• A response to emotional overload

• Common in depression, trauma, grief, and burnout

• Often fueled by loneliness and fear of burdening others

As one person shared:

“I just want the pain to stop.”

That sentence captures what suicidal thoughts truly communicate.

Types of Suicidal Thoughts: Active and Passive

Suicidal thoughts exist on a spectrum, and understanding the type matters.

Passive Suicidal Thoughts

Passive suicidal thoughts occur when a person lacks the motivation to live, but does not have a plan to take their life

These thoughts include:

• “I wish I’d go to sleep and never wake up.”

• “I’m tired of existing like this.”

One person expressed this clearly:

“I wish I’d go to sleep and never wake up every day.”

Active Suicidal Thoughts

In active suicidal thoughts, an individual no longer has the motivation to live, and they have a plan to end their life.

These involve thoughts about ending one’s life. Importantly, many people with active thoughts are frightened by them and do not want to act on them. They are a sign of distress, not intent.

Chronic or Long-Term Suicidal Thoughts

Chronic suicidal thoughts refer to ongoing, recurring thoughts, fantasies, or preoccupations about suicide that persist over a prolonged period. Some people live with suicidal thoughts for years:

“I’ve been tortured by suicidal thoughts for most of my life.”

Long-term thoughts often coexist with depression, trauma, or repeated experiences of feeling failed or unheard by support systems.

How to Support Someone With Suicidal Thoughts at Home

You don’t need perfect words to help someone. What helps most is presence, warmth, and consistency.

One person said it simply:

“A hug goes a long way. Seriously.”

What Helps

• Listening without trying to fix or argue

• Saying: “I’m really glad you told me.”

• Offering physical comfort if welcomed

• Checking in regularly

Another shared:

“Love and support from people is the only thing that helps me.”

What Often Hurts

• Minimizing the pain

• Responding with fear or judgment

• Making threats about hospitalization

When Home Support Isn’t Enough

Support at home is powerful, but sometimes it isn’t enough to ease ongoing pain. When thoughts persist or intensify, professional care can offer safety and relief without taking away autonomy or livelihood.

How Therapy Helps, Even When People Feel Discouraged

Some people feel deeply harmed or exhausted by past treatment experiences:

“Psychiatrists and counselors caused more harm than good. I’ve been on over 20 medications. They made me sick, cost a fortune, and I lost years of my life.”

These experiences are real, and they matter.

Effective, ethical therapy today is:

• Collaborative, not controlling

• Focused on understanding pain, not silencing it

• Respectful of a person’s need to work and live independently

• Grounded in trust and consent

Therapy can help people:

• Reduce the intensity and frequency of suicidal thoughts

• Address loneliness, shame, and fear

• Learn tools for coping when pain peaks

• Rebuild hope after years of discouragement

For many, therapy becomes the first place they can say, out loud:

“I’m not okay, and I don’t want to be alone with this anymore.”

Getting Support in San Diego

If you are living with suicidal thoughts, or supporting someone who is, you are not weak, broken, or beyond help.

Jabali Health provides compassionate, evidence-based mental health care for adults in San Diego, California, focused on dignity, safety, and individualized support.

You can explore available services here:👉 https://www.jabalihealth.com/services

Book an appointment with us https://www.jabalihealth.com/contact-5

Reaching out is not giving up. It is choosing care.